You would think all the self help books you've read and all the inspirational programs you've seen on TV would prepare you for the worse? Nah...it won't. When you are faced with something you never expected and literally feel the blood drain from your body, all you will ever wish for is someone to hold your hand. However, I think having someone to console you at that very moment when you hear a surprising news will do more damage. We tend to get overly dramatic and emotional when we know someone is out there looking after us.
Endocervical hyperplasia with severe atypia. Hmmm...at least I don't see dreaded words like carcinoma. sarcoma and all those other "nomas". This was what was going through my mind when I got my biopsy results. Let's see what my doctor has to say. So I stare at her, waiting for signs, will she frown, shake her head, sigh? Will she smile? She read the result and said..."You need to have a hysterectomy"
WHAT? Hysterectomy? Me? In all my thirty something glory go through a hysterectomy? Oh my...I'm hypertensive, I might faint, my blood pressure was 140/90...I have to breath. When I finally got my composure back, my first thoughts were my parents, then my kids, then work. Sadness started creeping in and when things started to settle and I was breathing normally I felt the sudden urge to plunge myself head on and tackle this temporary setback like I always do or like I would always want to, like an intelligent, practical and strong person. Not afraid to acknowledge the emotions I am going through yet still in touch with the fact that paying too much attention to my emotions will not help. Besides, I have a strong support system. Enough to shelter me from the storm, to temporarily shield me from thunder and lightning.
